“One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.”
— Oscar Wilde
So, I don’t want to get married at all. Maybe down the line I’ll change my mind (I doubt it), but I am definitely not enthusiastic about spending loads of money on one day just to grab a piece of paper.
I’m pretty much against conforming to societal norms for the sake of it; I prefer to do what I actually want. I refuse to be pressured by public perception, and I don’t subscribe to group think. I like to question things before accepting them, and I enjoy encouraging other people to do the same. Hopefully this post will either make you question whether you really want to get married or will confirm what you already think.
1) I’m Not Religious
If you’ve had sex before marriage, then being religious shouldn’t even be a reason why you’re getting married. I mean, what’s the point? You’ve already fucked up my g. But even if we’re going to overlook the fact that I’ve had many nights of passion without being wedded, I personally have no religious incentive to enter into a contractual communion at all.
Even if I was religious though, I’d still remain sceptical about marriage: “It wasn’t until 1215 that the church declared marriage a sacrament and set up a system of canon law around it. So don’t be fooled by those who claim God invented marriage – it took centuries for the church to put its claim on it.”
2) You Can’t Leave Easily When You’re Fed Up
I once said that “Girls want to get married so you can’t leave them when they start acting crazy,” and I wholeheartedly believe that. Before tying the knot, both participants in the relationship need to stay on their toes as either party can terminate the relationship at any point. When you get married, one or both parties may start to relax and not appreciate their partner as much as they previously did.
I’ve found this to be true even in terms of getting into a relationship. The difference is, when someone gets too comfortable in a relationship, you can exit the situation reasonably quickly. However, when you’re married, you’ve got to get a divorce and, if you didn’t get a prenup, it can become a very costly mistake.
3) Marriage Is An Outdated Concept That Doesn’t Provide Much Use Today
Marriage came from the biological desire of both men and women to see their children survive – it was the evolutionary dominate strategy. Marriage was then used as a strategic tool used to strengthen and form alliances. It eventually became what it is today: a well marketed institution that many equate to love.
Being married doesn’t mean you’re in love, just like not being married doesn’t mean you’re not in love. Marriage doesn’t quite provide the strategic advantage it used to (I’d marry Taylor Swift if she’s up for it though) and I don’t believe it provides any advantages that I couldn’t do without. I don’t care if my children don’t have the same last name as their mother and I don’t need the government or society to approve my relationship.
4) I Believe In Polygamy
I’ve already stated that monogamy is not natural in humans. I predict, that in about 30 years, polygamy will be the new norm. To commit to having sex with one person for the rest of your life will probably be a laughable concept. I agree with the concept of open relationships, casual dating and friends with benefits. I think that’s the most exciting and fulfilling way to live, as long as everybody involved knows what’s going on.
The world may evolve to be reminiscent of the 60s, where people had sex freely and had fun doing so. Obviously we should aim to make sure that we’re all having safe sex and we’re having regular check ups, but it seems to be happening already. Women are much more sexually liberated than they once were (#FreeTheVagina, yay) and now they’re enjoying their bodies and embracing their desires with less fear of being called a slut. This is a good thing, but I’ll delve deeper into my thoughts on polygamy and seeing multiple partners in another post.
In conclusion, I don’t feel that marriage has anything to offer me except from acceptance, which I couldn’t care less about. I have no interest in legally binding myself to someone else at all, even if I did want to spend the rest of my life with one woman.
Do you want to get married or nah? Tell me on Twitter: @JayCartere.
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